up, up and away!

1 month

it's been exactly one month since my mother's passing. I'm wearing her perfume today and it's the most comforting scent I can imagine.


I miss ya, mama.
I hope where ever you are, it's fucking amazing and beautiful.
Love you, tons.

Radiohead was horrible.

.....nothing could actually be further from the truth. It was spectacularly simple and beautiful. Supposedly The Fonda was the smallest venue they've played in 15 years, and it was quite possibly the best setlist they've ever played. how lucky am i? Mr. Wareheim surprised me and said that it was my going away present so that when I am in Italy, I can think about that one time we went to go see Radiohead play that Haiti benefit concert and it was rad. I will surely remember it foreverz.
I never knew until the show how many lyrics I actually knew....surprisingly most. It was magic.

Giving my resignation to my boss is causing me much more stress than is needed. I need to cut the strings and just do it. Fuck 'em.

I'm going to be in San Francisco in less than 2 weeks for only 2 days, but I'm thrilled. I'm just excited to be in that city, hanging with cool people, laughing and drinking. I'm also flying Virgin America...and I think I might be most stoked about that more than anything. ha.

Great things

Me You and Everyone We Know

If you really love me, then let's make a vow. Right here... together... right now. Ok ?
- Ok... 
All right, repeat after me... I'm gonna be free.
- I'm gonna be free. 
And I'm gonna be brave...
- I'm gonna be brave.

Good... I'm gonna live each day as if it were my last.
- Oh that's good...
You like that ?
- Yeah... 
Say it.
- I'm gonna live each day as it were my last... 
Fantastically...
- Fantastically.
Courageously...
- Courageously. 
With grace...
- With grace.
And in the dark of the night ,and it does get dark, when I call a name...
- When I call a name... 
It' ll be your name... What's your name ?


[no answer]

Nevermind... let's go... say it.
- Let's go... 
Everywhere...
- Everywhere... 
Even though...
- Even though... 
We're scared...
- We're scared... 
Cause it's life...
- It's life... 
and it's happening, it's really really happening... right now...

Please Read

In association with Grace Hospice AZ,

THE VICKI PROJECT is a fund to provide financial assistance to those patients who are in economic distress -- those with limited access to family or other kinds of support, as well as allow individuals the care and dignity deserved at the end of their lives. Your donation will go directly to assist those with benevolence related needs outside of hospice care, such as food and utility bills. Grace Hospice monitors and distributes these funds specific to this cause, on a case-by-case basis, while adhering to the guidelines of their 501(c) (3) not-for-profit status.

PLEASE JOIN US IN HONORING VICKI'S MEMORY by supporting the wonderful services that Grace Hospice delivers.

The Vicki Project

Thanks! xo. -Amelia

I am not cut-out for sales. It's not in my nature. I've learned this now and will take note for future endeavors.

The amount of self-induced misery I have working at my job is insurmountable. It's far too much and I'm not sure I can withstand the time I have left...even seeing the end in sight.

I miss my mom more and more everyday. I haven't given myself the proper time off to clear my mind. I'm hoping Italy will do that for me.

A customer actually made me cry today. I'm sure there were tears already waiting in my in my "reserves" but he made me feel unintelligent and projected his bad attitude on to me and it worked.

I'm so exhausted.

Is everything alright?
You feeling stormy?
You feeling phoney?
You're not the only

Do you get up up up?
Clouds stop and move above me
Too bad they can't help me
What is the right way?

Do I float up up up?
When I stop and look around me
Grey is where the color should be
What is the right way?

Old glasses clinking and a
New order's blinking
and I -
I should be floating but I'm weighted by thinking

I just called my mother's cell phone number to hear her voice on her outgoing message.
It made me smile to hear her voice one last time.




Why do I do this shit at work?

Hey, Life,

slow the fuck down. I can't keep up. At all.