get the butterflies out

Sometimes I get on this thing when I can tell my pulse begins to race and I am overwhelmed with thinking about too many things so the best solution in my mind is to get them out. Get them out on virtual paper and take real deep breaths.

1. I just had to write my first press release. Sounds silly, but it completely bogged down my day and stressed me out. I came up with something but my confidence in my writing has plummeted.

2. a loan officer from my college found me via facebook. they call every day and every night. they send me mail. they send me e-mail. they warn me that i'm about to royally fuck up my credit and still......i don't have any money. I pay the bills every month that I have to pay. I have to eat. I have to buy shampoo and tampons and beer and cigarettes....well, maybe not cigarettes but still. I live off of nothing and I have since I graduated. nothing about my financial situation has bettered....or really even changed since then. So I avoid it and they just call more and more. BUT FACEBOOK?! jesus christ. you fucking bounty hunters, leave me the fuck alone.

3. I just got an e-mail about possibly becoming an au pair in Italy... I'm not really even sure where to start on this one. I need more details. and probably a couple nights to "sleep" on it.
I would just take a million pictures. And miss everyone horribly.


breathe out. get dressed. take a bus to the bank. phew.

fuck yeah fest '09

Home (n.): 3. A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household.

"How to fold a blanket in three easy steps" by Ryan de la Hoz

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what's new, pussycat?

I started my first day of work at my new job, finally.

funny how I wished that I had time off between jobs and when I actually had it I was just nervous the whole time that I wasn't ever going to start the new job. That anxiety reminds me of my mother. No bueno.

It was a sort of strange first day of work....little vespa dealings and lots of....cleaning...? Idk. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm an assistant and that title reaches far and wide in duties. I'm happy to help.

I burnt myself on my friend's motorcycle last night and I'm afraid that it's going to scar pretty bad but have determined that although I have never cared much for leg tattoos, that I might make an exception and cover the pending scar with some [obviously] sweet tattoo. We shall see.

I finally went to develop two rolls of b&w film and lost my debit card on the way. bummerz.


I had an great weekend filled with good music, bad music, beer, my house, good tunes, LACMA, and Nine Inch (muthafucking) Nails. Still dealing with inner termoil but all in all, everything is on the up and up.



<3

NIN

I am about to see a band that I have loved since I was 14 years old.

that is epic to me.

i remember buying "The Fragile" and laying in bed with my discman and I remember thinking that the album made me want to be a drummer. it was beautiful.
I remember being 10 and watching "Closer" on mtv. I think it put me through puberty. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that this show might bring me to some spiritual enlightenment of some sort.





iamsofuckingexcitedimightthrowupOMG!